From Wounds To Wisdom
There's an expectation that as a wellness “expert” I must have all my s*** together. I am still a work in progress but I will say that my s*** is substantially more together than it has ever been. I attribute this, in large part, to my relationship with my mental health. It’s my top priority, my greatest teacher, and at times the source of my most challenging hurdles.
As I sit down to write this post I have mixed emotions. Part of me feels like an imposter. Maybe never receiving an official diagnosis means that I'm not “sick enough” or qualified to write on the subject. Or maybe I'm feeling guilty because for that very same reason I feel so incredibly lucky.
Over the course of my life, I've seen therapists and other clinicians. All of whom saw strength in me that at the time I didn't see in myself. They would tell me that I have the tools, the capacity, and the ability to overcome. I remember hoping for a diagnosis just to explain why I was always so sad, so tired, and felt so unworthy. I remember hoping for a pill that could ease the mental, emotional, and physical symptoms and allow me to carry on business as usual.
Exploration led me to alternative medicines and therapies in collaboration with conventional approaches. | Photographer: Chris and Man For Kunye
One encounter with my then family doctor stands out in my mind to this day. I had made an appointment with the intention of getting a prescription for some sleeping pills. After we spoke at length about my struggles with anxiety and depression, he grabbed his prescription pad and wrote “ 60 minutes of exercise daily. Best taken in one dose, and to be completed outdoors whenever possible.”
I left his office feeling dismissed and extremely pissed off without the “solution” I was hoping for in hand. And yet, for whatever reason, I took his recommendation seriously.
As time went on, I started to feel marginally better. With the support of the people closest to me, I removed myself from the unhealthy situation I was participating in at the time and found myself down a path of exploration. Along the way, I met people who have become my greatest friends, teachers, and allies. What I know now that I didn't know then is that the note from my doctor was the seed of my entire life path.
I’m defined by many things. I hold many titles. But what has never defined me is a diagnosis. I can’t say for certain, but I think my life and my relationship with my mental health would have turned out much differently had that not been the case. That's not to say there isn't a place for diagnosis or prescriptions, or that the issues around chemical imbalances, trauma, and other triggers are not valid and important. I am just one story.
There are millions of people around the world suffering in silence. So today I want to acknowledge all of us on the spectrum of mental health and wellbeing. Those without a diagnosis and those who’s diagnosis greatly impacts their lives and the lives of the people around them.
I acknowledge those who are taking it one day at a time.
Those who are moving through waves of grief, sadness, loss, trauma, heartache, and depression.
Those who have or who have ever had thoughts of suicide.
Those who are caretakers for a loved one who is mentally or physically unwell.
Those living with an addiction, an eating disorder, and/or in situations where physical or emotional abuse are present.
Those holding onto anger and injustice.
Those who feel unworthy, unwelcome, unappreciated, and underrepresented.
The idea for KUNYE and the original line of products was sparked from Melissa’s wellness exploration. The word Kunye pays tribute to Melissa’s mother - the first person to ever teach her about self care. It’s a Zulu word meaning ‘one’ or unification and represents the brands integrative philosophy of inner, outer and higher selfcare. | Photographer: Chris and Man For Kunye
To be blunt, we’re all a little insane. It just seems as though some forms of insanity are more acceptable than others. I recently heard Eckhart Tolle say “there are people in India who have become saints and masters who would have been put in mental [institutions] in the West because the West does not recognize spiritual uprising.”
That's how I choose to view my mental health - as an opportunity for spiritual uprising. An opportunity for my soul to grow. An opportunity to move closer toward awareness, connection, and understanding of my inner, outer and higher Self.
My mental health challenges are not a curse. They were a catalyst for who I am and who I am becoming.
Big Love,
Melissa | Founder of Kunye.co
Resources for Mental Health Services in North America
Trans Lifeline: 1-877-330-6366 (Available 24/7 in Canada)
A 24/7 hotline available in the U.S. and Canada staffed by transgender people for transgender people.